God, can you hear me now?

Have you ever questioned faith?  Is there a God?  Sometimes we experience things in our lives that make us question, does God exist?  We are brought up to believe that there is a God.  After all, many religions say so.  Yet, in a world full of dark corners and horrific deaths, it certainly makes you question, if God does exist, why do we experience some of the terrible things that we do...?
"Things happen for a reason.  It is all part of God's plan."  Is this true?  I have experienced some of the most beautiful things in life.  Things that take your breath away.  And yet, the same man who we pray to and thank for such beautiful gifts in our lives, is the same man we question, curse his name, and wonder why he puts us through the things he does.

My cousin, Casey, was a beautiful little girl.  A "vieja" at heart, she was always wise beyond her years.    She grew up in a loving home, with a mom and dad who loved her very much.  She was a teacher's dream student and tutored children.  She was that perfect girl you loved to hate because you really couldn't find anything to hate her for.  She was beautiful, kind-hearted, and intelligent.  On July 8th, 2003, at the tender age of sixteen, Casey was gone.  We would never see her again.  Was this part of God's plans?  Is she isn't in a better place?  What place could possibly be better than in the arms of her mother?

Moreover, I look at my grandfather who had a long and wonderful life.  He worked very hard to come to America and live out the dreams you read about in Mark Twain books.  He sucked up his pride and worked long hours and more than one job at a time to provide for his family.  He never thought twice about it.  He did what he had to do to make an honest living, even if it meant working three jobs at one time.  He traveled the world with Mimi, took long fishing trips in the keys, worked hard and played harder.  On February 1, surrounded by family, he took his last breath and he was gone.  My grandfather fought cancer till his body wouldn't allow it anymore.  He was doing push-ups in his hospital room till his muscles couldn't support him.  His doctor's called him a miracle because he wasn't supposed to live as long as he did.  However, he told death if he was going to go, it was going to be on his terms.  A stubborn old-man, he never listened to anyone.  No one could tell him what to do, not even God.  My grandfather planned out his entire life.  Everything he said he was going to do, he made it happen.  He demanded he didn't want to die at home so that Mimi wouldn't have that memory.  In his final hours, he was transported to a Hospice Care facility.  There we were, as a family, surrounding my grandfather, waiting... and waiting... We knew it would be a matter of time.  He couldn't talk, see, or even move, only listen.  Casey's mom walked in the room.  Someone whispered in my grandfather's ear, "Kathy is here."  My grandfather jumped up and reached for Kathy.  She hugged him tightly and asked him to look after Casey.  I knew he would.  Finally, a Chaplain walked in the room to give my grandfather a final blessing.  Again, he nearly jumped out of the hospital bed to reach for this man.  A stranger.  Someone he's never known.  Shortly after, we sat there in silence listening to his breaths grow weaker and weaker.  I laid my head down and held his hand.  I counted his heart beats till I knew he was gone.  I looked up at the nurse and shook my head in grief.  My fears were confirmed.
A couple years later, members of my family went to see John Edward. My grandfather enjoyed his show and told my aunt, "if he is the real thing, he would come through in a reading."  Sure enough, the notion of elephants came up in a reading.  John Edward said, he was with someone who died in a terrible car accident.  My grandfather and Casey were together.  He kept his promise like he always did.  Yet, I still question why God took him from me.

"The bonds of love are what connect us to the other side."  John Edward

When we call to God for advice and he doesn't answer, perhaps he is experiencing high call volume or has bad service. God, can you hear me now?  Don't give up.  Sometimes our answers can be found in other ways.  Just like tomorrow's sunrise is never promised, we will never be sure what our ocean's tide will bring.  Don't give up.

Finally, my life has many blessings.  As I look at my little blessing, curled up in her father's arms, I begin to understand the miracles of life.  The circle of life.  While I may truly never understand if God exists and if he does, what his plans are for me, I do know, I am here for a reason.  I believe I am here to serve, educate, spread love, and give love.  

Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.

All pictures borrowed from Google Images.