What I Know For Sure

What I've learned in one year as a mom, is something no ivy-league college, how-to book, or professional mom could've prepared me for.  This has been the most out of this world, beautiful, patience testing, fear-facing, gruesome, best year of my existence.  The time has come, and I type this with a tear in my eye...  My daughter, Olivia, my first born, is turning ONE!

What I've learned over the course of one year:

1.  PLAN TO FAIL:  No matter how planned and ready you are for a baby, you're still not ready.  Nothing can prepare you for a child.  Sure, having a plan in place, the room decorated, a color coordinated closet with matching hangers organized by size (You know it), can and will help.  However, the "things" never seem enough, the nights are long, and the days even longer.  The journey is amazing and so is the learning experience.

2.  ENDLESS POO WITH A BANG & SPIT UP:  Sure, my daughter may have inherited the "Graver Curse" but babies are like little duckies.  They eat and poo, and when they get old enough, they eat, walk, and poo.  You never have enough diapers and it still hurts a year later to spend $50.00 dollars on a 3-week supply of diapers.  In addition, I've become a fart detective.  The little pop-pop's followed by her giggle are nothing to worry about.  It's the loud, gurgle pops of air you have to fear.  And at the end of a long day, when my child's tank is sure to be empty, she will surprise me again with a Hershey Kiss.  Along with lots of hot air and ca-ca, we have experienced our share of spit up.  We've gone through multiple different formulas and are now experimenting with cow's milk.  She spits up everything.  That expensive stroller and car seat, yeah, that was spit up on too.  My clothes, my hair, and just about everywhere in between, more spit up.  Thankfully, it's gotten better with age.

3.  LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:  I wasn't one of these mom's that was head over heals in love with my daughter the second I saw her.  They laid her on my chest, she smiled, and nothing has ever scared me more!  It wasn't until we were alone and the excitement settled, that I fell in love and began to appreciate the little life I built.

4.  TEETHING:  The teething process has been my greatest challenge of motherhood thus far.  It's challenges come in waves as each new tooth emerges.  Teething can bring on a multitude of issues such as: fevers and cold-like symptoms, more poop, excessive drooling, irritability for mom and baby, and diaper rash from even more poop.

5.  SCHEDULE:  I was borderline coo-coo about Olivia's feeding/sleeping schedule and still kinda am.  She runs like a machine and it's very obvious when she goes off track.  I am one of these people that can't function on no sleep and I knew it would be tough in the beginning, but once I had her schedule set, it really was peace of mind.

6.  FRIENDSHIP:  Your friendships change when you begin a family like they do during all major life events.  Those important friendships that were there before Olivia was born, are still there, and they are now extended aunts and uncles to her.  However, you gain new types of friendships. I've met many new mom's and have even ventured outside of my comfort zone and done the whole play-date thing.

7.  PATIENCE:  A baby can and will test your patience.  You never really know how much patience you have until you raise a child.  I am blessed to have a very happy and well-behaved baby but during those teething waves, sometimes I feel like I got hit in the head by a 2x4.

8.  SCREAMING BABIES:  I used to cringe at the sound of a screaming baby in a restaurant or movie theater and now it's all white noise.  I'm on the other side now.  I feel every parent's pain when they just want to eat their last bite of steak in peace.  When we go out to eat we are automatically seated in what appears to be the designated baby section.  Food flying everywhere, crying and screaming, a cute, little stranger popped up behind me pulling my hair on the other side of the booth, it's all apart of life now.

9.  RELATIONSHIPS:  I can definitely see how a baby can take away from a marriage.  However, Brandon and I have really made US a priority and want to show Olivia how strong our family bond is.  While we don't have many date nights out, we do have enough alone time when the baby finally goes down for the night.

10:  THAT'S SO WEIRD:  My daughter hates blankets, sleeps with her ass in the air and her eyes wide open.  No matter how much I suction, the boogers keep coming.  She rubs a pillow on her cheek to fall asleep.  She loves purses.  She'll take everything out of a bag and then put it all back in.  I can only dream that it is a trait of a master organizer.  My daughter's head circumference is above average in size.  Clearly, she has a big brain and it's not just a Gibson head, duh!  Shockingly, between all the hair I've lost post-pregnancy and the hair Olivia always pulls out, I still have hair.  Nothing hurts more than a 4-tooth baby bite.  She loves to dance and has more rhythm than most.  Finally, she is a clone of my husband with a Graver personality.  Genes are powerful, folks, so pick em' wisely!

11.  WHAT I MISS THE MOST:  Sleeping-in.  I SO miss sleeping till late in the afternoon.  Those who personally know me, know I love and value my sleep.  I am thankful Olivia sleeps till 8:00 but some days even that is too early.  Running into the store no longer takes 5 minutes.  I have to pack the baby bag, pack her into the car, unpack it all once I arrived at my destination, of course I have to change another diaper somewhere in there, feed her, and before I know it, my trip to pick up some bread took 2 hours and $100 dollars.

12.  MY DAUGHTER, THE SPONGE:  She is always watching.  She mimics my every move, attempts to say what I'm saying, and follows me around everywhere.  My little shadow is a quick learner and tries her hardest to do the grown-up stuff.  That being said, I am her role model and I really have had to change some of the things I do so that I can lead by example.

13.  MY MUSE:  My daughter has inspired me on so many levels, including being HER mom of the year.  I want to design toys, write children's books, create bows and headbands, etc., all to make her future a lot brighter.  More importantly, she inspired The Pink Elephant.

14.  PARENTING 101:  I have days when I feel nothing is good enough.  I have moments when I feel I am failing.  There are times when my smiles aren't so big and angry words come to mind easily.  I question why I have a pouch that makes me look three months pregnant when Olivia came out of me a year ago. Sometimes I just want to cuddle my daughter, not the pressures of motherhood.  Some days I am so tired, the thought alone of changing another diaper is exhausting.  All in all, it's a journey.  I may never get it right and that's okay.  One thing I know for sure, we are doing the best we can.  We may not have a lot of stuff, but she sure has a lot of love.  Her home is filled with laughter.  Her daddy provides her with a home and things she won't remember 10 years from now.  However, she will grow up remembering all the love, hugs, patience, listening, and the fun memories and traditions that she will one day pass on to her children.

15.  MY ANGEL, MY BEST FRIEND:  Sure, we all think our children our blessings, angel's in disguise, the cutest.  Some  may even find they are spawn's of the devil.  Nevertheless, Olivia has a special heart that only those who have been in contact with her can understand.  Let me stress, Olivia is not perfect.  She has her moments and sometimes I just want to crawl under the bed and hide so I can be alone in silence for thirty seconds, but she is a very sweet baby.  Complete strangers have told me, "she has a beautiful soul."  At first, I think to myself, why are you reading her soul. However, she'll stroke someone's cheek, give a hug, a giggle, or a big toothy grin and people just light up.  I've been told, "she just makes me feel better," and, "she is special."  I know I may sound like a wack-a-doodle but Olivia really brings peace happiness to those around her.  She sure brings happiness to her parents, this I know for sure.

Finally, I've learned a million and one things over the course of this year.  There is not enough time in the day to list them all.  I've discovered a love greater than anything I've ever known.  A love so large, only parents can truly grasp this feeling.  To my sweet, little, Olivia, who is turning one today, you've made me so proud and I love watching you grow.  You never cease to amaze me.  You've managed to make time stand still even though my days come and go as quickly as they started.  You are tough and braver than you know.  I love your tenacity.  You are strong and I know you are destined to conquer this world and do great things.  Wrap wings around your heart and let it soar freely, for that beautiful heart has the ability to make anyones day a little brighter.  From Mama to Mommy, and Mom to Best Friend, I am so proud and blessed to call you my daughter.

Happy first birthday, Olivia.  Wishing you a happy life with love, health, endless education, vast journeys, and bright tomorrow's.  I love you more today than yesterday, and my love for you continues to grow with every tomorrow, this I know for sure.

Love Always,

Mama